So I know I often come across as snarky and crabby on the blog but overall I’m doing really, really well. I’m very optimistic. I look forward to every new day and I think the future holds good things for me.
(From snarky to sappy, give me a break, sheesh. Oh wait, I guess this is being snarky again.)
It’s been a long road to get here today. And I know I didn’t share that process with too many people. On my old blog, I pretty much quit writing. (If you can’t say anything nice, don’t write anything at all…) I’m really not into The Drama. The whole mess was very dramatic at times and I didn’t want to dwell on it anymore than I had to. (I suppose I talked a little about it here: Feeling Good, part 1)
I think I’m good now. Obviously the divorce is done, the ‘worst’ part is behind me. I dealt with the heartache, denial (I have to admit, I really like denial), anger (although that was so brief that most people were mad at me for not being mad enough), depression (that was really early on), bargaining (”if only I was/did/could…”) and now we’re onto acceptance. I’m so not a process person, I like to be at the end and finished and done with something. And yay, here I am!
So where am I? My mom/house keeper status is still mostly the same which makes me happy. I’m in college and that’s turning out much better than I expected. Although I still have freak out moments when the kids are sick and I can’t be in two places at once. I like learning new things and once I was over the hassle and cost (ack!) of higher education, it’s actually fun to take notes and do lab experiments (the jury is still out on test taking). I’m still sewing and that keeps me in contact with some great people too.
I guess the biggest change is that I’m officially single for the first time in 13 years. Which is highly amusing (sometimes). Another important thing I’ve learned is that given the choice between crying or laughing over situation out of your control, it’s better to just find the humor and save your eye make-up. I’m nothing if not practical.
I wouldn’t say I’m overjoyed at being single though. Because I’m not. It’s a change and as I’ve said before, I’m not a huge fan of change, especially a change that I didn’t want in the first place. But if life gives you lemons, trade them in for limes and make margaritas. So I’m going to make the best of it.
Although… I think the D word that comes after the big D word (Divorce) is almost as scary, intimidating, difficult, and heart wrenching.
*whispers* dating…
*faints*
I wasn’t much of a dter the first time around so I would be worse now. And the whole hooking up thing? Man I feel old. I don’t even know where or how to meet people. Good luck with it all, and I hope one of your friends has more of a clue about how life works than I do.
Judy Workman
October 6th, 2009
You could write one heck of a book Sweetie! :-)
auntie 502
October 6th, 2009
Are you meeting interesting people in your classes? That would be a plus, I would think.
I was always lousy at dating, even when I was 18, so I’m afraid I have no useful advice at all. I know you’ll do fine once you set your mind to it ;)
Ben
October 7th, 2009
I always thought it’d be a hoot to see who Match.com would match me up with…or maybe I wouldn’t want to know. I might find out more about my personality than I’d like to. (And I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t let me play around on the site just for fun!):-)
auntie 502
October 7th, 2009
try and think of the excitement of the first kiss or first hand brush :) It makes the idea of dating much more appealing!
Ashlee
October 7th, 2009